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4.11-4.19





this is a week of scattered memories.

I don’t really remember what I did besides some calls, some art, some cooking, and some Netflix. How was this day different from the other day? I don’t know.

I also didn’t have a lot of thoughts. Every day I was just doing things and going with the flow. So here is my picture-heavy update for this week...



screens
screens
screens










experiments & works in progress
experiments & works in progress
experiments & works in progress








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.    






running on the lawn near midnight

running on the lawn near midnight

running on the lawn near midnight














living one’s life to the fullest
living one’s life to the fullest
living one’s life to the fullest



Alex and I have been talking about memory and self-narrative a lot recently. Sunday night (the 19th), when we sat at the dinner table, both of us had trouble recalling what we’d done in the past week. The grocery trip from Friday felt like a much longer time ago.

What did I do yesterday?  

I did workout on the lawn and accidently killed some plants. I probably called someone. I played with isometric drawings in Illustrator. OH! Alex and I also went outside right before midnight. Then I watched Blade Runner with Cammie & Megan till 3am. I feel like there are some gaps in between these things that somehow just escaped me... I hate this. I somehow stopped journaling this week and cannot recall most of what I did this week.



And for me, a strong autobiographical memory is very core to the definition of “living my life to the fullest.”

Since I was 8, I have been finding means to keep a record of my life. It was originally a blog at 163.com, then Tencent weibo, WeChat moments and fancy bullet journaling throughout middle school, and since 9th grade I have been using Moleskines/Leuchtturms. Since last May I have this gap year newsletter in addition to my journals.


I really enjoy having a good sense of my intellectual, social, emotional & creative trajectories in my life. In a way, it is about being hyper-aware of how time passes for me as a character. I was certainly annoyed when I realized I wasn’t aware of where my time went this week.



From Monday, I’m going to block out more time in my calendar (to legitimize it in my brain) to do journaling a few times a week. Nothing much is happening in my personal life, so I won’t force myself to have deep thoughts every time. Just doodling something, or writing down new recipes Alex and I tried would be nice too~ 















pizza & papaya
pizza & papaya
pizza & papaya











red

red

red











binge

binge

binge


We watched Tiger King! Alex concluded that both of us have addictive personality -- when we like a show, we binge. We don’t care about pacing. But maybe it is because both of us were aware that we should be somewhat responsible human beings for other people, we chose to finish Tiger King in three consecutive nights, even though we admitted that if we were alone, we’d totally finish the entire docu series in one day...










miscellaneous ^2

miscellaneous ^2

miscellaneous ^2



“Let's absurdify life, from east to west. Let us play hide-and-seek with our consciousness of living.” (Fernando Pessoa)